I understand totally. Kind of same here.
I'm trying a lot of AI services :

• Venice.ai : nice one, they run some models on their own servers, for others it acts as proxy to them (and when it does : it costs some token, it goes too quickly imo)
• Claude "anonymous", using an anonymous email and anonymous virtual card, toping with Monero. Works well, but still proprietary,
• Gemma 4 from Google : nice one, runs on pretty "low" RAM (like 16GB RAM or little less), local model.
  It evens runs on GrapheneOS !
• NanoGPT : nice, pay per prompt, using Monero.
• payperq : same concept, nice. But depending on usage, like NanoGPT : tokens can be consumed too quickly. But... Still anonymous.

I really hope prices will go down for machines to run LLM models fully locally. For now I rely mainly on online models, anon way.
My main usage is Claude "anonymous". And secondly : payperq.