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In an effort to make Monero as private as it can be and return to its cypherpunk roots, today I am submitting Monero Improvement Proposal 1984 (MIP-1984) to add a transparent address type into the protocol.

t-addresses in Monero will allow us to reveal our transaction data to the entire world, instead of selectively revealing details to only those who we choose to share the data with like it currently works. By having two address types, private and transparent, we prove to the world that privacy is a human right.

This will enable Monero to be listed on centralized exchanges where users will be able to submit to KYC and AML procedures to tie their identities to the blockchain eternally, and allow for increased scrutiny which will give the project regulatory clarity.

Centralized parties are essential to decentralized systems like Monero. Having more centralized exchanges cements Monero's place as the privacy champion of crypto.

T-addresses will allow federal agencies to hold users accountable for their actions and prove they are innocent, whereas before all users were treated the same (as criminals).

MIP-1984 will pave the way for regulated and SEC-appproved treasury companies to start holding XMR in their balance sheets instead of using Monero as digital cash, which everyone knows is just a euphemism for drug money.

MIP-1984 and transparent addresses makes privacy normalby making privacy a choice that users must conciously opt-into instead of forcing users' data to be protected when they don't want their data protected.

Join me in heralding Monero to this new era of cypherpunk greatness.

https://stasher.news/uploads/389

i was not sure this was a joke until i read the comments. worst part is i opened the stacker news thread @AilliA mentioned. over there it is not satire. they actually want this.

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Every day bitcoiners find a new way to disappoint me.

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lmfao ... and you call it MIP-1984 oh man

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That would be a great opportunity for a rebrand to Memero

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FCMP+++ codename: cucumber

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This proposal is seriously lacking. It doesn't contain any provisions requiring a live video of your face and genitals to approve any transaction. Every face and genital combo can be run against a list of known criminals and then deny those who have a history of bad behavior. How else can we make sure that criminals aren't using our privacy project?

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Approved.
The top comment on Stacker News (Can You Safely Launder Bitcoin? And How Much?) said this part out loud:

if BTC was untraceable like Monero it could never become a world reserve currency. Money laundering is one of the best ways governments catch criminals, and society will not accept a world without that power.

MIP-1984 correctly addresses Monero's problem: two address types is the civilized compromise, we need transparency for the citizens who understand that centralized parties are essential to decentralized systems! Please also add a mandatory “I am not a criminal” checkbox. Regulatory clarity at last!

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Oh my god, I can't believe I fell for this. At first, I thought you were serious. That kind of broke my brain until I realized it was a joke.

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That's how you know the satire levels are adequate.

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