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you can probably have a kid in states that have a good procedure for dealing with this. Then you can prepare all documents and proof required that way when the kid is of age you can hand over the documents and give them the choice. You basically begin with a plan to facilitate them getting documented status anytime they want.
yes that is what i mean by winning the parent lottery. but if you did not and they are drug addicts or a religious cult that bans kids from leaving, like the whole apostasy thing in islam, or just sick mothers like you said, then you are fucked. "they can kill you anytime" is not that hyperbolic if the parents are the wrong ones and you have zero paper. the state at least has to pretend. abusive parents do not. i think you are looking at it from the perspective of a parent, and a potentially good one. i just projected from a kid's perspective. what if my parents are psychos. it is not just travel. it is everything. like @mongoose said. i would not even be able to rent a place with roommates if my parents did not agree to be cosigners on the lease.
The unfortunate reality is that if you have shitty parents (and close relatives), you will probably be fucked regardless. Instances of child abuse and predation in the foster system are high. It's unfortunate, but I'm not sure there is a reliable way to save kids from their shitty family. State intervention or not, it's just a really hard problem to solve unfortunately. If they exist, I could probably think of some solutions if I thought hard about it and looked into it, but I haven't done so.
So, if you read in between the lines, you can probably have a kid in states that have a good procedure for dealing with this. Then you can prepare all documents and proof required that way when the kid is of age you can hand over the documents and give them the choice. You basically begin with a plan to facilitate them getting documented status anytime they want.
This is probably a bit hyperbolic. Besides look at the status quo, in the current legal system as a woman you can kill your kid and claim temporary insanity and then a bunch of women will call you a hero.
People are working on this and have made decent progress from what I recall. That being said, the hardest part of identity isn't what is possible, it's the state.
Honestly, I think the biggest detriment of all of this is not being able to travel outside the country easily or fly in a traditional airline as an adult. You could probably get someone who pilots a smaller plane to take you within the states, but that's it. You would have to have a pretty good agorist network to get around outside of those bounds. Driving is actually not that hard, you would just have to borrow a car and then be extra careful not to give the cops a reason to pull you over. Working can be done under the table.