At some point, I stopped caring about death, both fearing it and/or wanting it. I just hope it will be fast and senseless. It was an incredibly liberating feeling to know that the physical world has no control over me, simply being aware that I alone hold the power to decide whether to end my life in any given moment, is such a profound source of freedom AND this realization is so powerful (in my case) that it completely eliminates any desire to act on that choice...